Things change or do they?

I am no longer very often on Facebook, and since the day I figured out how to download all the images I once uploaded, I promised myself to never post new pictures to that platform.

But I do go in and usually have a look in the Memory section. That’s fun (or tragic, I don’t really know). You see how the kids have grown and that your viewpoint on life have sometimes changed (a lot) and for sure the total nonsense you shared to everyone all the time!

Anyhow, today these memories reminded me that six years ago my life was different, but still not. This image portrayed my life six years ago:

And this was what it looked like yesterday. Both Fridays:

No, not that different. Me home alone, this time with one kid instead of two. The fact is, like any normal teenager he seldom joins me infront of the TV. But, yesterday he did. I appreciated it and thanked him for it, when I went to bed 15 mins past 10 p.m. ….

Today’s question: The picture from yesterday is from my Insta stories and has God’s Plan with Drake as “theme song”.

That’s mine and F’s song. We often play when we’re together. It’s is a special section of the song that made it ours. Can you guess which one?

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To utilize International Women’s Day

I so understand and can partly appreciate the actions companies do to utlize (in the term of exploit) days like International Women’s Day to produce content for their social media. But the bigger part of me makes me provoked.

Personally, not one day passes with out me celebrating my self. Officially or unofficially (i.e. in my head). I have come that far in my life that even if I still love praise and appreciation from others, it’s more important that I am ok with my self. It varies from total admiration and unhealthy glorification to a more modest “you’re OK”. I still do a lot of shitty, or not so thought through stuff, but those are my action and don’t determine who I am or what I’m worth.

So, what does my bombastic view of myself has to do with International Women’s day?

What I mean is, that I (and in a perfect world all women) don’t need companies and organisations to tell others how they appreciate me. This I can do myself (any day of the year) Sure, it is nice. But the struggle women have for equality doesn’t need nice, it needs hard core action. It would be so much more interesting if these companies and organisations took the opportunity to shown, in hard core facts, how they secure that women and men are treated equally in their organisations.

The “women cheering content” in social media is sweet but painfully hollow and a direct proof that most of us have not understood what the fight for equality is about and reminder that the feminist analysis, is so distressingly shallow.

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Best ability

During my yin yoga session the other day, my instructor asked us to explore the answer to the question: What is your best ability?

I didn’t need to do much exploring, the answer came instinctively: capture the positives, no matter how small or ordinary.

It’s the best ability ever and in line with my overall vision: to be happy in all I do. So, do as Perry Como says, accentuate the positive.

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Time

As the years pass I notice that I have so much more time for myself. The boys are growing and handle their everyday much themselves.

As I’m a nostalgic sucker, I spend a lot of my time looking at old pictures (which I have “oh so many of”. And occasionally make these things.

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Awaiting the award ceremony

I KNOW I’m not the only one. But yesterday was a yet another typical day of the incredible mum mind.

07:51 when I was approximately 20 km away from home. Our youngest calls and ask me if I knew where his keys were. One could wonder why he does that, not only me being far far away from home, with very small possibilities to search the premisses. Thereto, it’s very well known to all family members, that I myself have a hard time knowing where my own are, meaning even less where his (and others’) are. But I do remember seeing something looking like a keychain with keys on the kitchen table. Hey presto – what do you know… there they were. Think that nobody else saw them laying there.

16 minutes later the husband texts me that the oldest couldn’t find his computer… I called him asked if he have had a look att “Find my iPhone”? They hadn’t.

Computer found.

We have talked about this before. I claimed there was no magical super powers involved. But now I do believe that there is. The magical mind and eyes of a mother. It must have been the enchanted scalpel put in my belly in 2003 and of course the equally miraculous (and this for sure do have magical effects) laughing gas consumed 2006.

To they family I have expressed, and will so again, that I MUST have a personal award AND award nigh for all the magic I deliver.

I’ll go practice my surprise face and speech right away.

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Some crazy shit

Today, October 14, is my birthday and has been for 46 years (meaning I turn 45, on the 46 I actually came out of my mothers womb.

The day didn’t really start well. For the uninitiated it’s important to know that I love birthdays. LOVE. I love the gifts and I love the attention. I know, you are a low life attention seeking hmpf, if you do. But so be it. I love it.

So, THANK YOU, all of you who took them time to send birthdays greetings on social media and texts. An extra thanks to mum, dad and sis who used the old fashion phone to get the message through.

A poor start
A person who didn’t use the phone, to send his wishes for eternal life to his beloved wife was, yes the “oh so magnificent husband, who got a personal tribute the other day on this very blog”. No, you say, why would he. He is you husband and you share beds. Yes, that’s true. But he sleeps in his and doesn’t wake when I say good bye by his side before leaving for work. He does however wake, when I from the bedroom door, wonders if he should get up to meet and greet the coming carpenters, expected any minute.

What he does do, is calling me on my way to work from our youngest son’s phone, informing me about that his didn’t charge over night. That was why he hadn’t woken up himself to be prepared for the carpenters. Did he say – happy birthday. NO, he did not.

What he did was sending me a “Happy birthyday” TEXT (!) exactly 24 minutes later, with the eco effect. My respons was naturally:
Seriously – a text?! offensive emoji, pissed emoji.
Then he blamed the carpenters to be too loud for him call. No further comments. Just icy winds.

Before leaving I had breakfast with my first born. No birthday greeting there. No conversation at all to be honest.

The continuation
The little one (as we call him), clung to my neck with the a birthday wish as soon as I met him. His is my favourite. Or was, until I got the following text, just before coming home:
– Send money 50 SEK (5 euros), I’ll buy a gift.
Me: Don’t bother
Him: Upps, wrong number
Me:

Coming home, a gift was found on the kitchen island. I showed the card to my first born. At least he had the decency to be ashamed and giving me a warm hug and a happy birthday. The gift was from a friend (woman) who I might had shared my morning disappointment with. It was a bottle Prosecco and a Marabou chocolate bar. This was all that I needed. Somebody loved me.

The little one came home with a bag of my favourite candy. He was given a distant thank you, and a reminder to send texts to the right person in the future.

The end
But the best was the chat conversation that followed with one of my colleagues when logging on for some minor things.

Me: No stress. I’m gonna eat my birthday dinner with my crappy family (or parts of it) who all forgotten about it…
Colleague: Is it your birthday today?
Me: sure is – 45 years and not a day younger
Colleague: What?! are you kidding me? 
Colleague:: You’re 45?
Colleague:: Seriously?
Colleague: No…
Me: how old did u think I was?
Me: 55? 😉
Colleague: No, I think you and I are more or less the same age, or maybe you even younger
Colleague: I’m 33
Me: Best gift of the day. I’ll screenshot this.
Colleague: No, seriously
Colleague: Happy Birthday to you!!!!
Me: THANK YOU!
Me: A common mistake I do, I think that everybody is as young/old as I am. It was OK before but now people get offended. If they are younger at least 🙂
Colleague: I wish you to stay always such a kind and open person! Only the best to you!!! Let all your dreams always come true
Colleague: So how old then are you?
Me: Thank you (as a reply to her birthday wishes)
Colleague: if it’s not a secret
Colleague: but I don’t insist
Me: I am 45
Colleague:: no, you’re joking
Me: it’s really not that old
Colleague: it’s not, but you don’t look that age
Colleague: seriously
Me: it depends on what you expect. But that is really nice (of you).
Colleague: I hope you are not offended, I didn’t intend to do that
Me: NOOOOO! I think it is hilarious and naturally I’m pleased. young is good  – for ppl my age
Colleague: Just you really look great and young
Colleague: Honestly. But that’s cool, you know age is just a figure, it’s nothing how we look and how we feel
Me: true that
Colleague: so I wish you always stay as now, coz you really look great!!!
Me: thank you, you can only guess what I looked like in your age (wink)
Colleague: Wish you Happy Birthday!

It is important for you to know, that my colleague is one of the smartest people I have ever met! But her honest surprise was fantastic.

Now, I will go upstairs and look what the husband bought me, else for the MANY foot products (salt, lotion and foot file) and aspirin.

Happy birthday to me. I am apparently gorgeous!

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