In a weak moment I promissed our youngest to take him to the Unisport flagship store in Copenhagen, in the pursuit of the perfect football boots. He invited a friend to join and then one more and another one until I had to make him stop.
I had to cancel the first planned trip two weeks ago (as I was down with the flu or something just as lethal), but today the time had come.
And what a treat! Four very polite, friendly and sweet 13-year olds. Having a great day. Even if some of them got disappointed when parents put a hard stop to the budget of both boots and gloves. But shortly thereafter it was just smiles again. We also gave them a important lesson to not pay for bad/non-existing service.
Anyhow, this day will stay in my heart for a long time. I have very much faith in the generation to come.
I also thank Marianne and my husband who joined as extra chaperones.
I don’t know if it was such a smart thing to do, this “getting kids” thing. I’m not thinking about the lack of sleep, the early mornings, the tantrums. I’m not even thinking about the adolescences where you see your young people do stupid stuff with zero consequence analysis and just because you said not to it.
No, I’m thinking of the love. This bottomless love you feel for your child, it’s magnitude so huge it hurts.
Seeing our boys growing up and realizing that they soon are no-longer yours (not that they ever were) and they be off. Off into their own world to conquer and explore. It hurts.
Let’s embrace them. Those small, small moments of wonder when you, instinctually, deep down in yourself, know that everything will turn out fine for your kids.
This is not always obvious, as you see them take “wrong” turns and do “not so thought through stuff”. When you see them do short sighted things and things that you just wouldn’t do.
The type of parent which I represent, is not totally over the fact that the offsprings are not a 1:1 replica of ourselves. Meaning, us parents live in the notion that although physically different at sight, our kids still have our fantastic brain with similar knowledge and capabilities to ourselves. Instead of embracing the fact, that they have their own fantastic brain and capabilities, and probably the similar knowledge to what can be expected of a 30 year younger individual.
And 80% the misstakes you see them do, you have probably done AND forgotten about. The fact that they are not a 100% copy of yourself makes them different, but not worse. A common misstake for us oldies, we think that different is worse and not just different.
Therefore, the joy I as a parent feel, when they talk about their future is quite bottomless (especially when the furthest they proved to see before, is approximately 10 min in to their computer game). Just as bottomless is the the pride when I see them replacing the un-open carton of milk and return to the fridge for the already open one, or answering their manager’s text without being reminded.
I know, small things but so important for me to rest assure that things will just be alright.
Reflections and actions that make your mind clearer is da shit. I do quite some reflections (some actions, but mainly to feel that I am not standing still. For me progress is important no matter how little). Slowly but surely I start to see my future destination.
No I’m not at all sure how it can/will happen but, as I am convinced that when you have the direction set, the path will come “automatically”.
And how great it is to not only see, but to feel (right in the solarplexus area) that this is right for me.
Thank God for me and for all my friends who are supporting me in different ways. I truly LOVE you.
One of the Instagrammers I follow, asked what new year’s resolutions his followers had for 2019. I rarely have new year’s resolutions as I believe it is better to do it whatever you want when you become conscious about what at you want change, independent of what day of the year it is.
But I told him that one thing I need to become better at, is to stop projecting my fears for my children. This fear results in an endless nagging competition. Instead I need to shut up and let them do it their way and maybe learn from their misstakes. Which of course they will do. And that is OK.
For your information I am practising this resolution as I write. And it is hard. So hard.