Our municipality invited parents to a lecture how to put loving boundaries. As usual it is not rocket-science these things, but it is good to be reminded at times.
The lecture was a (young!) father of four. He was a good speaker and very pedagogic, Micke Gunnardo.
The first thing is to give time to our children. This is probably the most important thing and the thing where many of fail miserably. I have said it before and I say it again, I can’t understand the people that choose to work too much only to withhold a certain status. A status that they reall can’t afford. (No, I do not talk about the single mothers who needs to have two jobs to put food on the table and roof over their heads. There is something else wrong with that situation and it is NOT the mothers. But that is a an entirely different discussion.)
The child psychologist Louise Hallin apparently once said, somewhat sarcastic “If people can take a loan to get a boat, why can’t they take a loan to stay at home”. I think that is brilliant. It is OK for people to get down in the dept swamp to get things, but noone would even think twice to do it to invest in your kids.
The goal is to (at least) once a day make our children really feel that they are the most important thing in our world. Where laundry, phone-calls, dishes, TV, work, internet and conversations with others are less important and can not come in-between the time we have together.
Other things that you really can do every day to spend time together is reading (of course), watch the GOOD children’s TV (=Bolibompa in Sweden), play board games, bake or make them participate in any other daily chore.
Second thing is LOVE. What language of love does your child have?I realized yesterday that my own is physical touch. Sam’ s is words of affirmation and physical touch. Fabian’s are acts of service and physical touch (but less than his brother and WAY less than his mother). Mr’s is also physical touch and quality time.
There are loads to read about this. But it is very interesting when you understand that the way you give is also the way a person wants to receive.
I could go on forever with this lecture. But is was so straight forward and really simple. For you living in Sweden get in touch with your school or municipality and invite this guy or someone like him. Well invested money and time spent.