When I was young(er) there was a common saying:
“One can never be too careful in the choice of one’s parents”. As evident as it is, that you have no choice in this matter, it is still so obvious how big impact our parents have on our lives. Personally I feel so grateful over my “choice”. It strikes me as I am on my way to pick up our youngest after spending Friday-Sunday at my parents’ and sister’s.
What is it I am so grateful over?
It is not the fact that we have someone that had the time to support us. Not saying that it wasn’t appreciated when the kids very younger. But my parents live app. 45 minutes from us so very seldom it was any short actions of support when things just screwed up. These were something we as a couple had to fix ourselves. Any support was needed to be planned ahead. Like when night- and evening shifts happened at the same time as over night business trips, larger renovation of the house, etc etc.
No, my gratefulness comes from the fact that my parents want to have a relationship with my children. They want to be WITH them (not only put them in front a TV or a computer), when they talk, they talk and listen to them, they SEE them and they also put boundaries (even if they are more generous than ours).
I am very well (and closely) aware of the fact that this situation is nothing that everyone has. As I see it there is only one “excuse” to not have a relationship with your grandchildren (and children for that matter) and that is health.
Distance, when it is short, makes it easier, but it is not an excuse to NOT have a relationship. It all comes down to will, will to want and will to let.
People might use what ever excuse why they don’t (time, distance, relations with children and children-in-laws, money, etc etc). But I will claim “if there is a will, there is a way”.
Two weeks ago Fabian got an urge to be with his grandparents and although a crowded schedule (of the kind that only retired people have) there was a opening this week-end with some extra support from his aunt, he got his wish. Today I picked up a boy who could spend more nights with his grandparents and one who hugged them all with nothing but love.
I am so grateful and happy to my parents who have the will and health. Love U.